Squirt
by Foxy'sGirl
Summary: Hiccup made something pretty cool happen...and is nearly killing Astrid trying to make it happen again.  Lemon-scented, hopefully humorous


**Why yes I am writing a random pointless one-shot while sitting on a half finished chapter of Chasing Thunderstorms that I have 140+ people waiting for. Sorry, my inspiration hit in all the wrong places.**

**Don't know where this came from…I think it's funny, and it is lemon-scented.**

**Lastly, it has absolutely 0 to do with plans…and that feels pretty ok…**

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"Come on…" Hiccup whines, tugging insistently at the quilt pulled up to his exhausted girlfriend's chest. Astrid's blanketed foot connects between his legs with a thud and Hiccup groans, biting his lip.

"I warned you." She says, somehow sounding smug and exhausted simultaneously. "Just let me go to sleep." Her voice is pleading, and Hiccup almost finds it in himself to feel guilty…but not quite. That was just so amazing, he has to make it happen again…or he'll die.

No, he's not being overdramatic at all.

He lays down behind her, spooning her in a way that would normally be sweet, but right now it's making her want to hit him. Too bad she's too tired to hit him…she's still shaking…

"Your kick didn't hit anything important…" He teases her, kissing behind her ear and ignoring the way that she tries to squirm away. His arms wrap around her bare waist and one hand trails down her taut stomach, finding the thatch of blonde curls and tugging teasingly. Astrid gasps against her will and scoots back into him…anything to avoid that goddamn eager hand.

"No. You've done that too much today." She chastises him sternly, grabbing his wrist and prying it away from her, only to have his other hand replace it, sliding further down in between her moist and still quivering folds. She jolts away from the touch, biting her lip and squinting her eyes shut.

"Honestly Astrid, it's only been like…" He taps on her hip gently, counting back the hours since that magical experience first thing that morning…he hadn't known that girls could _explode_ like that. He'd just been messing around with his fingers, teasing her a little bit when suddenly it had been wet and dripping and gushing…she'd painted the entire stomach of his shirt a shade darker!

It was so cool, the best thing that's ever happened in his life. And she'd been crying out and making those amazing moaning noises that go straight to his cock and that adorable little squinty face…but six hours, and a couple dozen orgasms later, he hasn't been able to make that happen again.

"It's been too many times Hiccup. I'm done. I'm done for months." Astrid nearly sobs, hiding her face in the quilt.

"27 times Astrid. It's only been 27 times…" He rubs her back soothingly and she relaxes just enough for his hand to jolt down, shoving two fingers into her and curling them up expertly. She groans, arching back against him before that sore pang from being touched too much overcomes her and she shakes her head.

"It stopped being fun at 23." She tugs his hand out of her, sighing nearly miserably when the sensation is replaced by callused fingers tugging at her nipples.

"Are you saying that the mighty Astrid Hofferson can't go 28? I never thought you would give up before accomplishing your goal—"

"It's not my goal! It's your goal! I didn't even know what was happening and then suddenly you were soaked and on top of me!" She snaps…of course that had been the best orgasm in living memory, but now that's eclipsed by the fact that she's tired and grouchy and her thighs have been trembling uncontrollably for 2 hours _at least_.

"It was so cool Astrid! It was amazing…you…spurted." Hiccup says, too carefully stroking her cheek and kissing the nape of her neck and Astrid reaches back and pushes him away with an admonishing hand on his face.

"You told me! Like 10 times in varying degrees of excitement." He's like a squid, whenever she pushes one of his greedy tentacles away he latches back on somewhere else. His hands are crawling around her thighs and butt, and it would feel really good except for the fact she's so over-stimulated that everything almost hurts in its unbelievable intensity.

"It was so beautiful, you did that, for me, all over me." Yes, he's pulling out his biggest weapons, murmuring stuff like that in her ear, his lips brushing against the lobe and making the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. Astrid sighs irritably, her body molding to his despite her mind's resistance.

Well, if he can fight dirty, so can she.

Astrid turns over, pulling down the quilt just enough to press her face into his chest, nuzzling him in that sickeningly adorable way that always makes _her _cave.

"Can't we just snuggle? I just want to snuggle. I _love_ you." She pouts, wrapping her arm over his shoulders and rubbing the soft sweat slicked skin of his back. He sighs and buries his face in her neck, not quite ready to give up the good fight yet.

"Please? It was so awesome, I just want to make it happen again." He begs and Astrid bangs her head against his chest irritably.

"It," thunk, "can," thunk, "wait," thunk, "until," thunk, "_later_!" Her hand comes around from his back and slaps his side not at all gently. She's so done. She needs to go get her clothes, and get dressed, and go home and lay in bed _alone_ until she feels human again.

But her clothes are everywhere, she can see her breast bindings hanging from a torch holder on the wall and she can't imagine the inconvienient places the rest of her garments ended up. Dear gods, naked time with Hiccup is normally so much more fun than this.

It's usually full of heat and thrashing and grudgingly accepted gestures of romance. But right now…it kind of feels like she's a dragon who's being punished for refusing to perform some trick. But gods she's a sick freak because the punishment felt so damn good…for a while. The skilled fingers pumping and twisting inside of her, the tongue massaging her just right, the eager thrusting inside of her as she came to whimpering climax after climax after _climax_…it had only become miserable as soon as he eyelids had started drooping and her knees had magically transformed into something significantly less than solid.

And the touching, it hadn't stopped, it had never stopped, he'd just kept rubbing and rubbing and licking and touching and tweaking and rubbing long after he'd been exhausted.

Hiccup is at an impasse. He can't decide whether he wants to keep experimenting – it's like the best experiment of all time, there's a naked Astrid and he gets to be naked and he gets to touch her again and again and _again_ – or whether he should really just let Astrid sleep. She's kind of crooning against him, and he can feel her trembling even as she's trying desperately to relax…the gentleman in him is starting to overcome the situation.

"I could cuddle." He admits, feeling like less of a Viking than ever before…which is saying something. He can't even keep his woman awake and happy…not that he'd ever refer to her as _his_ woman…well at least not unless he wants to die an untimely and brutal death.

"Yes…" Astrid sighs in relief, curling into him and humming happily. She's never been more glad that Hiccup is Hiccup, rather than the obnoxious he man type he's been acting like for the last few hours.

"But we are going to try again tomorrow." He insists, brushing her hair back from her shoulder sweetly and adjusting the blanket over the two of them. Astrid pinches his side viciously, digging her nails in enough to leave a bruise.

"No we are never trying this stupid thing—" She threatens before sighing…it had felt really good that original time, when she'd exploded in that mysterious way that he finds so wonderful… "Day after tomorrow. Recovery time is important." Hiccup kisses the top of her head.

"Sure thing." He smiles broadly to himself as she drifts off, snoring lightly in the most gorgeous way possible.

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**So, love it? Kind of like it? Absolutely hate it? **

**Tell me, and more importantly tell me why!**


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